Man on Movies: Iron Man 2

For the man’s man, there is no better example of someone living the dream other than Tony Stark – aka Iron Man. Here’s a guy who has got it all: money, power, fame, women, and enough tech toys that would make James Bond jealous. Oh, yeah - and he can fly.

Although fictional, Tony Stark is the man men strive to be. Although being born into a family of privilege, he wasn’t satisfied just living a prosperous life. He leveraged all that he was given and built an empire. And as we all witnessed in the first Iron Man that was released in 2008, when he was faced with impossible circumstances, he didn't give up, he invented a new power source to keep him alive, invented the iron man suit, killed all the terrorists, and then he rested.

In the world of superheroes, Iron Man is in a league of his own. For example, look at Spiderman and Superman. Peter Parker was an insecure little boy with no ambition, and by freak accident was bitten by a spider that gave him his spider-abilities. Superman didn’t have to work hard to become super, he was just born that way. In fact, he spends most of his life trying to suppress the super man that he knows himself to be in order to be the boring Clark Kent. Tony Stark didn’t stumble into greatness like Peter Parker. He wasn’t born a super man. He made himself great. He made himself powerful. To top it off, he didn’t care if everybody knew it! He realized his own greatness, and he was going to be damned if anybody tried to take it from him. In a scene from Iron Man 2, Tony Stark is sitting in front of Congress when he makes the bold statement: “I am Iron Man. The suit and I are one.” I want to be Tony Stark, and every man reading this blog should want to be as well.

Iron Man 2 is a solid sequel, which starts up immediately where the first movie ends and makes a logical and satisfying progression through the storyline. We see Tony Stark’s fame, and classic narcissism, rocket to meteoric heights. He gets grilled by Congress. He kicks some bad guy ass. The action sequences are so realistic, it makes Transformers seem like Toy Story. There’s not much more to ask for in a superhero movie.

Tony Stark will be Robert Downey Jr's most popular role in his career. But like any other great movie, Downey is joined on screen with some top talent as well. Don Cheadle, Mickey Rourke, and Samuel L. Jackson all make solid performances. And I would be remiss to not mention the ever lovely Gwyneth Paltrow, reprising her role as Pepper Pots, and the luscious Scarlett Johansson. Mmmmm…Scarlett Johansson.
It may be difficult for people to truly identify with the Tony Stark character, because he does not exhibit the same insecurities that a lot of people experience in life. But that is because Tony Stark is not your everyman.

He is the man. He is Iron Man.

by Guest Reviewer J.Bleez

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THE CAPTAIN'S REVIEW LOG: The KFC Double Down

THE TASK

So after weeks of hearing all the backlash and negative press I couldn’t take it anymore, for the good of mankind, I had to take the plunge and try this new KFC Double Down.

I'm a fan of YUM YUM (the company who owns KFC) and have actually owned their stock 3 times over the past years, so there is little doubt that they had done their research with the release of this sandwich. I'm not a frequent eater at any fast food chain, a matter of fact, over the last 10 years I have actually had KFC more times in China then in the US but I figured I owed it to my readers to find out the real deal on this value meal!!

There is no doubt that the press surrounding this sandwich is the result of some feminist's rant; as if the introduction of another sandwich is the reason why she and all of her overweight friends are fat. Woman already blame much of their unhappiness on men, so this just gives them another reason to push the responsibility of their misery onto us. So, for that reason, I had to venture off and try eating one of these for myself.

COMPARISON
Now this is a man’s sandwich! I mean what is there not to love? Before we review the actual taste...here are some stats:

2 Original Recipe Filets
2 Pieces of Bacon

2 melted slices of Monterey Jack & Pepper Jack Cheese

....and some Colonel's Sauce

The double down comes in two versions Original Recipe and (Grilled).

Calories: 540 (460) Fat: 32 (23) Sodium: 1380 (1430)

These stats are taken right from KFC themselves. What people aren't talking about is the low carbs, which KFC never mentions. They are hoping that all of the Atkins freaks began salivating over this and I think they should be. As a fellow low-carb high protein dieter, this is a pretty good way to cheat! How many carbs you ask? 11 (3) I find that hard to believe but it's taken from the KFC Nutrition Guide....so by golly it's Atkins approved!!

The next thing I would like to mention to all of you fat, stretch pant wearing housewives who think this is the worst thing since Hooters, while you've been eating your pretentious salads and condemning those around you for eating their fries you have been eating just as bad. Just becaue you stuff your pie hole with lettuce and vegetables doesn't mean it's healthy in fact you are filling yourself with the false security that you are dieting. Well think again, Fatty Mcbutter pants!

Wendy's BLT Chicken Salad (Pictured):
Calories: 470 Fat: 27 Carbs: 23

Burger King's Tender Crisp Salad

Calories: 410 Fat:21 Sodiom: 1250 MG Carbs: 34

Taco Bell chicken Ranch Taco Salad Calories: 910 Fat:54 Sodium: 1660 Carbs: 71

Now those are just the salads so imagine if we started on the burgers....that all have buns!! This list can go on and on. The worse part about these high fat, high carb salads - is that mentally you just had a salad, so you will naturally think, “ A little desert won't hurt”!!! So with all of the hoopla, how the hell does the Sandwich taste?

THE TASTE

Well since I was going to eat bad, I figured I needed this thing fresh and hot. I went to the most upscale neighborhood Greenwich, CT (actually Port Chester) and walked into KFC and flashed my pearly whites. I told Pimples at the counter that I owned a media company and that I was doing a story on the Double Down and needed the best Double Down that money could buy. I then slid him a $10 bill for himself and paid for the sandwich. When I received this thing, it was hot, fresh and there was a trifecta of glorious scents - Chicken, Bacon and Cheese. At that moment, I knew this was going to be good. I actually begin to perspire. I gently wiped my forehead with my KFC recycled napkin, and picked this glorious piece of manwhich up and slowly brought it to my lips...and....and I put it back on the tray. I needed to have some back up condiments and a tasty beverage. If you are going to do this, you need to do it right! I asked Pimples Mcgee for some bar-b-cue sauce and a diet coke. I rushed back to my hard plastic seat to find my beautiful, bacon covered Double Down, which I had affectionately renamed "DD" and this time I released her tender fillets of their paper clothing and gripped those bare, tender breast (fillets) and took a man-sized bite. I closed my eyes and pounded the table, it was so good. In preparation for my next bite, I turned DD sideways so I can get another full bite of everything. A mouthful of bacon, cheese, chicken and sauce explosions. Perfection! I didn't want this to end but it did, and all too quick. But like any good meal it left me wanting more which is a good thing. (Ladies...take note...leaving the table not completely stuffed is a good thing!) Warning...you won't always have Pimple-Mcgee behind the register making sure thta you have the hottest and freshest. I can see this thing going the wrong way at the wrong KFC. If Bobby “I’m 22 and knocked up my girlfriend” Jones is making your sandwhich it might not be as good…..but even ½ as good would still be great!



This is your captain Speaking
-Captain Jack
Let's Take Our Balls Back (T.O.B.B.)
An FTB Blog

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MAN'S REVIEW: Men of a Certain Age

Now this is a TV show that I can sink my teeth into. Ray Romano hits this one out of the park. This show is just what TV really needs. It takes a deep dive into the lives of 3 middle aged men. They’ve known each other since college so their bonds run deeper then any relationship you can have from just meeting someone at the office. You will never have friends like the ones you met at college.

Initially you think the characters are staged, like a cheap soon to be defunct network comedy with flimsy characters each representing a particular lifestyle with the token black guy thrown in there for good measure. What becomes immediately apparent is that... it doesn't feel like a network comedy or drama. It feels like a mini movie ala The Sopranos, or The Wire. The acting, story lines and the development of the characters begin to draw you in immediately.

As the characters themselves go: One’s divorced, one’s a family man, and one is a swinging bachelor. Rather then portray all the women as hot, and the men as dopes, the wives and ex-wives are played by cute girl next door types. Everyone is very believable in their roles.

That is the charm of the show - it's very believable, so much so that every guy can relate. (There's even a touch of profanity - Thanks God for cable TV).

The character of Owen played by actor Andre Braugher (famous for his role as Det. Pembleton in Homicide) works for his over achieving father, he battles his weight, and he’s trying to raise two young boys and maintain a what appears to be a "happy marriage".

Joe played by Ray Romano, is a dollar store/party store owner, divorced, with a daughter of dating age (one episode he finds out her boyfriend calls her a slut), and he’s starting to date again as well. He just missed being on the Pro-golf tour and is thinking about going on the senior tour. He has a gambling habit, a bookie and a father in a nursing home. As men we either are this guy, or know this guy.


Then there’s the irresponsible bachelor Terry played by Scott Bakula (from the old school show "Quantum Leap"); he's not sure about his career, not sure about his life. He’s dating a 25 year old. He’s a not so pretty, pretty boy. He gets the girls more with self confidence then looks. As the season progress you see Terry's confidence fade as you learn the real person behind the hyped up out of work actor his character becomes.

This show is appealing because of its grit and realness. They use profanity, because that’s how we talk in real life. None of the leading men have Hollywood good looks and everything doesn’t always work out in the end.

All in all very well done with just a touch of style and CRASS! Grab a glass of wine, light that cigar and enjoy a mans show!

Click Photo for a Preview!
This is your captain speaking!!


Let’s Take Our Balls Back (T.O.B.B.)

-Captain Jack

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X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE M.M.R. (Man Movie Review) - From a non-comic expert

Wolverine will go down as one of 2009’s Man Movies!!

There was no sappy love thing going on, it was “Man Shags Chick” Period!– Yeah!

I am not going to get into the details of he story lines, or Hugh's acting ability in this review, I will leave that to the Pro's (links are below). I just want to talk about the enjoyment factor.

The movie’s opening sequence is nothing but a testosterone filled, supernatural, gruesome generation Y version of the Dirty Dozen. The movie closely follows the Wolverine story, the special affects are great and the action sequences are what movies are all about.

I’m so glad I didn’t waste time, or energy watching the heavily rotated pirated copy. This was a man-fest that needed to be enjoyed with the full cinematic experience.

What does Wolverine do for a living – Lumberjack! It doesn’t get any more testosterone fueled then that. He drives pick up truck, rides a vintage motorcycles, bangs a hot chick, and rips people apart with his bare hands (claws).

Appropriately Hugh Jackman slashed Mathew McConaughey at the box office.

If you went to see Ghost of Girlfriend’s past this weekend with your girlfriend, wife or significant other you should be banned from this blog….but then again, that’s why we are here.

To help you get back your balls!
This is your captain speaking
CJ

PROFESSIONAL MOVIE REVIEWS

NY Times Wolverine Review

Roger Ebert Chicago Sun Times

LA Times Wolverine Review

Click for Wolverine Wall Papers

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