The Fatter the Knuckle, the Smaller the Diamond: THE CAPTAIN'S REVIEW LOG: The KFC Double Down

THE TASK

So after weeks of hearing all the backlash and negative press I couldn’t take it anymore, for the good of mankind, I had to take the plunge and try this new KFC Double Down.

I'm a fan of YUM YUM (the company who owns KFC) and have actually owned their stock 3 times over the past years, so there is little doubt that they had done their research with the release of this sandwich. I'm not a frequent eater at any fast food chain, a matter of fact, over the last 10 years I have actually had KFC more times in China then in the US but I figured I owed it to my readers to find out the real deal on this value meal!!

There is no doubt that the press surrounding this sandwich is the result of some feminist's rant; as if the introduction of another sandwich is the reason why she and all of her overweight friends are fat. Woman already blame much of their unhappiness on men, so this just gives them another reason to push the responsibility of their misery onto us. So, for that reason, I had to venture off and try eating one of these for myself.

COMPARISON
Now this is a man’s sandwich! I mean what is there not to love? Before we review the actual taste...here are some stats:

2 Original Recipe Filets
2 Pieces of Bacon

2 melted slices of Monterey Jack & Pepper Jack Cheese

....and some Colonel's Sauce

The double down comes in two versions Original Recipe and (Grilled).

Calories: 540 (460) Fat: 32 (23) Sodium: 1380 (1430)

These stats are taken right from KFC themselves. What people aren't talking about is the low carbs, which KFC never mentions. They are hoping that all of the Atkins freaks began salivating over this and I think they should be. As a fellow low-carb high protein dieter, this is a pretty good way to cheat! How many carbs you ask? 11 (3) I find that hard to believe but it's taken from the KFC Nutrition Guide....so by golly it's Atkins approved!!

The next thing I would like to mention to all of you fat, stretch pant wearing housewives who think this is the worst thing since Hooters, while you've been eating your pretentious salads and condemning those around you for eating their fries you have been eating just as bad. Just becaue you stuff your pie hole with lettuce and vegetables doesn't mean it's healthy in fact you are filling yourself with the false security that you are dieting. Well think again, Fatty Mcbutter pants!

Wendy's BLT Chicken Salad (Pictured):
Calories: 470 Fat: 27 Carbs: 23

Burger King's Tender Crisp Salad

Calories: 410 Fat:21 Sodiom: 1250 MG Carbs: 34

Taco Bell chicken Ranch Taco Salad Calories: 910 Fat:54 Sodium: 1660 Carbs: 71

Now those are just the salads so imagine if we started on the burgers....that all have buns!! This list can go on and on. The worse part about these high fat, high carb salads - is that mentally you just had a salad, so you will naturally think, “ A little desert won't hurt”!!! So with all of the hoopla, how the hell does the Sandwich taste?

THE TASTE

Well since I was going to eat bad, I figured I needed this thing fresh and hot. I went to the most upscale neighborhood Greenwich, CT (actually Port Chester) and walked into KFC and flashed my pearly whites. I told Pimples at the counter that I owned a media company and that I was doing a story on the Double Down and needed the best Double Down that money could buy. I then slid him a $10 bill for himself and paid for the sandwich. When I received this thing, it was hot, fresh and there was a trifecta of glorious scents - Chicken, Bacon and Cheese. At that moment, I knew this was going to be good. I actually begin to perspire. I gently wiped my forehead with my KFC recycled napkin, and picked this glorious piece of manwhich up and slowly brought it to my lips...and....and I put it back on the tray. I needed to have some back up condiments and a tasty beverage. If you are going to do this, you need to do it right! I asked Pimples Mcgee for some bar-b-cue sauce and a diet coke. I rushed back to my hard plastic seat to find my beautiful, bacon covered Double Down, which I had affectionately renamed "DD" and this time I released her tender fillets of their paper clothing and gripped those bare, tender breast (fillets) and took a man-sized bite. I closed my eyes and pounded the table, it was so good. In preparation for my next bite, I turned DD sideways so I can get another full bite of everything. A mouthful of bacon, cheese, chicken and sauce explosions. Perfection! I didn't want this to end but it did, and all too quick. But like any good meal it left me wanting more which is a good thing. (Ladies...take note...leaving the table not completely stuffed is a good thing!) Warning...you won't always have Pimple-Mcgee behind the register making sure thta you have the hottest and freshest. I can see this thing going the wrong way at the wrong KFC. If Bobby “I’m 22 and knocked up my girlfriend” Jones is making your sandwhich it might not be as good…..but even ½ as good would still be great!