THE CAPTAIN’S CRITIQUE

Every now and then I sit around with the boys and we do what I call, “The Captain’s Critique”. After awhile we thought that everyone could benefit from this little nugget of knowledge so we added it as a feature on the blog!

The Captain’s Critique is the Captain’s opinion of an online personal ad – we figured men can learn what to watch out for, and women can learn what to and not to write.

Here goes (exactly as written)……

For some reason there are so many men that's affraid of independant strong
females. I'm strong and Independant and I'll let u wear the pants.. u Just have
to know how to wear theme well lol..But at the same time I want someone to spend
on me for a change.I want to be wine and dined and treated like a queen.I
deserve it I been the giver too long it's my turn..I'm kool, loving, smart,love
to laugh.I would love to travel more one day with that special someone.A turn
off to me is insecure men.I'm secure i want him to be so we can make things
happen.I'm all about building and doing it together. So fellas if u stopped by
my page and dont like what u see thats fine.(smile)I'm a great catch, if u have
what it takes to catch me. I dont ask for much....smoochez hit me up if u want
to learn more about me**

Wow, after reading that, I’m sure she’s beating the men off with a stick!!
First and foremost – Spell check, spell check, spell check. I know us men aren’t looking for brain surgeons but it would be nice to know that my girlfriend could send an email invite to a party without sounding like an idiot.

Second, it’s not that men are afraid of independent, strong females, we just can’t stand hearing them talk. Do you see…she will let you wear the pants. Then in the next breath – this battle ax (oh yeah, she’s a big-un) goes on to say that she wants someone to spend on HER for a change. She wants to be wined and dined for crying out loud. I thought you were a strong independent female?!? This screams of a nagging, whining, beyatch who is never satisfied. My dear, you don’t get treated like a queen unless you earn it.

Let’s not forget she is kool, with a “K” loving, smart, and loves to laugh and travel. Any broad who says that they love to travel, loves when you spend your money on her to travel. Do you honestly think that this beast has been anywhere besides her local pub? Traveling for her is a trip to the beach chair section of Walmart. A man does not say, “Oh wow, she loves to travel, Great!”. What he does say is, “Oh wow, she is a gourmet cook!”

She is turned off by an insecure man, but that’s all she is going to attract with this kind of ad. Any guy worth his balls is going to laugh at this and keep moving. If I’m secure, then why would I deal with this for one second . Why would I look at this ad twice, unless she was smoking hot!! Even then, why, when there are so many other women out there who are smart enough to conceal their intentions and not say, “I want to be treated like a queen”. WARNING: A beyatch who is not even afraid to conceal the fact that she is a beyatch is scary and dangerous.

She boasts how great a catch see is, if someone has what it takes to catch her. I could bait a hook with a Double Whopper with cheese and she would be all mine…..but then she would open that pie-hole and start yappin’, and I would have to throw her back!

If you have an ad you would like me to critique – please send it to: cptjack@gmail.com


This is your Captain Speaking.
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